The book F U, Penguin: Telling Animals What’s What by Matthew Gasteier is one book that you definitely don’t want to get your grandmother for Christmas.

Filled with cute animals and offensive language, Gasteier has somehow managed to merge matter and anti-matter; he has taken nature’s most innately cute phenomenons and paired them with language that would make even the most ruthless sailor blush.

Captioning animal pictures with three words of profanity (on average), Gasteier half-describes and half rants about each animal included in the book. (Imagine Wikipedia with drunken and profanity-laden entries.)

But there is a reason behind Gasteier’s seemingly random need to pick on nature’s cutest and furriest. As he describes in one of the bear entries, “[g]et off the hammock and go eat something with blood in it [bear] so I can think about the dichotomy between your cuteness and your insatiable thirst for flesh.”

Gasteier, like many of us, is simply trying to find the answer to an age-old question: How can cute animals be so ruthless? While Gasteier doesn’t arrive at a definitive answer, walking through the journey of F U, Penguin certainly is fun.

This is the perfect book for animal lovers with a sense of humor, but definitely not a book for people who are easily offended.

You can visit Amazon to read more about F U, Penguin, or you can view some page excerpts (the few without profanity) below. Read the full story